the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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