Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm getting married
To pizza
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize