the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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