hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize