wat bout pragnant strippers??
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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