you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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