She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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