ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
