at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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