he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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