how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
