She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
