Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
