Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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