he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we made out on top of his cat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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