yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
