you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
