I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
