All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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