Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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