Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
