i already hear my dad disowning me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
