I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need a beard to bite.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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