the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
