I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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