Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
