I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
