best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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