you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The air was thick with penises
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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