and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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