She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
