they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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