just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
