My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
