My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
