Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
is it fun? or sober?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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