Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
