he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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