jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
