I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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