It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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