Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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