"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
