fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize