Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
