Me too!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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