As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
