i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
