I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
