dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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