No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
