i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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