So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
