dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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