Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
