Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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