Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
