what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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