sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
