Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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