btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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