Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
