Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
