Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
