Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize