Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you had me at cake vodka
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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