meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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