Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
