Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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